Dear Worries

Bored and although not lonely, am alone.  I forget how quiet the house can be with only me and my pets in it.  Kiddos out at a friends tonight so I have the place to myself.  Most would probably be out gallivanting around the town, sipping at beverages and dancing on the floor but I prefer the peace of my home...mostly.  I have so many thoughts running through my head though in this quietness that it's hard to concentrate on a book and I have no desire for the noise of the television.
So, you have no idea that I just typed a whole page of thoughts then deleted them.  Decided they weren't ready for public consumption. (Got that idea from Hannah...thanks babe.) But it felt good to get them out even if I then removed them.  Thoughts are interesting if you really think about them...lol.  They can chase themselves around and around like a hamster in a wheel and unless you get them out, they go faster and faster making you dizzy with their antics.  God tells us not to worry because He's got us in His hands but sometimes I forget.  That's when my thoughts become worries which then eat at me.  Worry for my daughter, for her friends, for my choices, for my family and friends.  It's becomes a never ending vicious cycle.  And one worry often leads to the next..like a rabbit running down a myriad of trails.  Whew!  Makes one exhausted.  Thank God that I have Him to rely on.  I'm learning (though I often have to be retaught) to turn them over to Him.  Especially when it comes to my girl.  I told her once to think of a long staircase and at the top, in His throne is Christ.  And He's waiting...just waiting for me to bring my worries, my burdens, my pain to Him and place them at His feet.  So imagine, you're carrying these heavy items, because they're always heavy no matter the size, but you're carrying them, dragging them up the stairs.  They may get heavier the closer you get because that's how things work but once you get them there, you lay them down at His feet.  It's usually hard for me to let go and they're often sticky, like they want to stay with me, stuck to me, crushing me but I work and release them.  And sometimes I imagine I crawl into His lap and just let Him hold me for a while.  Because He wants to, He wants to hold me and remind me who He is.  Then I must go.  But I find I often look back at my pile, sometimes I even run back to it because it seems to call to me, to pick it back up and I sometimes find them back on my shoulders.  So I do the process again and again and find it does get easier with time and practice like most things do.  This works great for a while but then one day, like today, I realize that I've been holding my burdens close to me again and that Christ is just there, just up the stairs, waiting for me with His arms open and His eyes soft with love.  And I realize that I can let go of these burdens and breathe deeply again.  And I start to learn it all again and so I start up my stairs once more, worries and pains in my arms, until they are at the feet of Christ and I am in His arms and He's telling me of His love for me.  Then I have peace...at least for a while.